Let me start off by saying THANK YOU for each and every one of you who stuck with me through what was to be one of the most incredible roller coaster rides of my entire life. That was 2022... You see I entered into Jan with having just lost my father to a 7.5 year long horrific illness. My 83 year old mother was struggling so badly with losing my dad after more than 60 years of marriage. Our lives were so filled with loss that it was almost completely and utterly unimaginable.
My daughter was also in the hospital in January! They were preparing to deliver this little guy EARLY due to her pregnancy being extremely HIGH RISK. Yeah, to say things were stressful would have been an understatement as we entered into 2022. So our new grandson spent several weeks in the NICU before he was able to come home and even then he was sooooo incredibly small. Thankfully today he's a perfectly happy, healthy one year old!
In mid April my sweet mother followed my father to her heavenly home. It's surreal not having her and my father with us now. There are so many days that I still cannot wrap my brain around everything happening so fast. I miss them both so much. But strangely, as traumatic as my father's time in hospice was, I'm thankful for every single day of that time. I'm thankful I was able to care for him and my mother as well. Placing them into a nursing home was never even an option in my mind. As difficult as some of those days (and nights) were, caring for them will always be one of my greatest blessings.
But, as I continue to head off in 2023, I find myself asking my fellow artists to look much deeper into their relationships, especially where family is concerned, your own relationship with your art and how you treat your fellow artists. They say you never know exactly what someone else is going through and I'm here to tell you no truer words have ever been spoken. I say this because after so much trauma and loss, I find myself focusing on very different things in my life and in my career. As selfish as it may sound, for the moment, I need to focus on Cindi, her family, her art and nothing more. I know I'm still healing and that it's best that I not take on any additional responsibilities like teaching and or mentoring. I am a creative spirit and need to focus on being creative for a little while and stay connected with the pure joy of that experience. Those who know me also know I have always done everything I possibly can to help others, but now it's time for me to focus on myself for a little while. Maybe I'll even finally get brave enough to launch another creative project or two that I've placed on the sidelines for a very long time. Who knows what the future truly holds? I have learned so much through all of this, most importantly to appreciate each and every day that we are given.
In the meantime, I hope you all are truly blessed in 2023.
sincerely,
Ms Cindi
